Chad Littlefield tells us he received his lowest grade ever in a public speaking class. Hard to believe since he’s an expert at it, in spite of ignoring his instructors advice. Judge for yourself. Tune in to understand why you or others might be struggling with creating genuine connections, and how to change that. Chad is an author, TEDx speaker, co-founder of WE! and an expert at breaking down communication barriers. His mission is to create conversations that matter and gently eradicate small talk.
Find out more about WE! https://weand.me
Chad’s book: “Pocket Guide to Facilitating Human Connections” at https://amzn.to/2PUT8D3
We! Connect Cards: https://bit.ly/2S8yQqW
Mentioned resources: Book by Will Wise, Co-founder of We! “Ask Powerful Questions – Create Conversations That Matter” https://amzn.to/2yta7FO Sherry Turkle NYT article on “Flight from Conversation” https://nyti.ms/2KdakEG
For more episodes go to: https://schoolofconnection.com/podcast
Rana Olk (Host): Hello everyone, look today is a special day because I get to interview someone. I know what you’re thinking, that’s why I’m here, right? Except I’m not interviewing someone every week, even though we release these episodes once a week, it’s actually been 2-weeks since my last interview and so I am excited, it’s my favorite thing to do and not only that but today is extra special because I get to interview someone who is passionate about reaching out to others and encouraging more real and human connections in the world just like me his name is Chad Littlefield, he’s an author a TEDx speaker co-founder of WE’ that’s we with an exclamation point and the we connect cards and the best thing of all you guys he is an enemy of small talk just like me, I love that but these things are all about describing what he does so we’re going to find out more about who he is and why connection is important to him. Chad thank you so much for being here I really appreciate
Chad Littlefield (Guest): It’s such a gift to be here, thanks for having me
Rana Olk (Host): So, I know that I went through that list of things that you do but how would you describe yourself or introduce yourself if you’re in front of a group of people?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Hmm! The one of my favorite ways maybe is to ask if people have seen the movie Patch Adams with Robin Williams where he becomes a doctor to promote the quality of life over quantity and so when I was a little kid I saw that movie and I had my whole life figured out because I was going to be Patch Adams I’m so enamored with his ability to heal people through human connection and through just as deep empathy and care and compassion and humor with other people and so on a playful note I like to say that I’m Patch Adams just without the scalpel because it chemistry class in college and that taught me that I did not want to go into medical, right? But I still had that drive this obsession and curiosity with the power of human connection and what it does to both our minds and our bodies in our hearts and so that’s a pretty abstract description those who most people if I say I’m that shuns like yeah but wait what do you what do you mean what do you do so the the quick way if I’m on a plane and we’re deboarding
Rana Olk (Host): There you go
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Share that leaders give me a ring when they want to amplify a culture of connection belonging and Trust and so I work with organizations and oftentimes be corpse or conscious, companies’ conscious organizations, to amplify that culture of connection belonging and trusts through speaking workshops and ongoing consulting and coaching with them
Rana Olk (Host): Awesome-awesome, so what about this the name of your organization? How would I describe that, did I do it right? Like WE’ with an exclamation point?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): WE’ with an exclamation mark
Rana Olk (Host): Okay
Chad Littlefield (Guest): So, we invoice people at “we and me Inc” that’s the official title but we’ is the brain and that that name came to be from if you know what a mind map is you picture a bunch of bubbles all connecting to each other and this web or network of ideas, so when we were first developing and building WE’, we created a mind map of all the thing all the impact that we wanted to create all the people that we wanted to serve all the ways that we wanted to do that and we left the center bubble blank and so we stood back from that whiteboard and looked at it and said okay what’s at the center of all of this and what came to both of us my co-founder now will wise and at the time was working with somebody else as well I came up with the word WE’, it was a group of people and since then has very much shifted you know what we share in the way that we offered is inviting people to shift from this me-centered mindset to a more we focused or we centered mindset
Rana Olk (Host): What do you think has necessitated this mission of yours? What do you think has necessitated this mission of yours?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Woo! Necessitated, it so many little moments and stories but one of them for me that was a spark to creating this before long before we was even a thought I was picking up my grandmother from the airport in Boston Massachusetts and was on this bus and it was this you know packed with people or so people like crammed in there like sardines, and yet there was not a peep, it was just this like cold silence on the bus and I was so struck by that and I was at the time I was really thinking about interning over this idea, I like to call positive social risks which is what I loved about connecting with you runners, your life is filled with what I would call positive social risks but anyway I was thinking about this idea and I thought if there’s any place to test whether this idea of stretching yourself outside of your comfort zone with the intention of making a positive impact or connection with somebody else works or has some power some impact a cold silent bus when way to the airport in Boston through traffic is definitely that place.
And so I had turned down next to me and there was a guy wearing a hat that said the Jason project on the top and I just very genuinely curious turned down and I was my heart started beating I was like the nerves of breaking that silence like there was social risk present and I just turned down I said I am really curious like what’s the Jason project on your hat all about and this guy looked up and just lit up, he went from like totally in his own world tuned out nothing else exists to oh! my goodness and he just started telling me all about the Jason project, what its mission was, how he worked with Robert Ballard, the guy who discovered the Titanic like all this life started coming out and I still get Christmas cards from Henry was his name
Rana Olk (Host): No kidding
Chad Littlefield (Guest): And so, it was that moment where I was like man! What stands between connection and isolation is often perceived social risk I don’t even think the actual risk is often very high, it can be right, it’s possible that put yourself in a situation where the actress is high but 99% of the time but the perceived risk is much higher than the actual risk.
Rana Olk (Host): Absolutely
Chad Littlefield (Guest): And the benefit of what comes on the other side of that risk is pretty cool
Rana Olk (Host): Yeah and obviously, I can relate to that approaching strangers no matter how many times I’ve done it, approach a stranger to say hey! Can I have a deep conversation with you it’s just like you described the butterflies in your stomach, the heart beating and I really love the slogan just do it I use it a lot you know and you just get to that point where you say just do it and as soon as you do within two seconds that you realize it’s all fine.
So, having the experience of and continually challenging yourself to create those moments between yourself and others how would you define or how do you define connection?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Whoa!
Rana Olk (Host): It’s hard, right?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Very-very hard
Rana Olk (Host): I’m not asking for a formal definition here can you describe how it feels for example
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Sure, it feels when you’re it very similar, I think when you’re really connected with someone very similar to being in a flow state you’re familiar with me hi chicks at me highs idea of flow where you lose track of time, you’re just totally immersed in something else and so I think real connections so where we’ve got lots of connections in the world right we’re very-very connected with computers that live in our pockets but I wouldn’t call that in the context they were talking about now and I wouldn’t call that meaningful human connection and so one of the best ways that I would describe it, I think this counts as definition and answers your question of how it feels. Sherry Turkle who wrote a really great article on your time for the flight from conversation in that she shares this metaphor of and I’m probably amplifying the metaphor a little bit more than she did but picture yourself on a hot summer day and you’re just super thirsty you haven’t had water in two days and you are going over and sitting on a table nearby is this ice-cold glass of water condensation on the outside and you go to pick it up you’re so thirsty and you just pick it up and go you just get this little sip, a little tiny sip, that is what the red notifications on our phone that’s the type of connection that digital connections often give us.
Whereas picture the same scenario hot summer day you haven’t had water in two years you go out there’s a nice cold glass of water condensation on the outside and you just take this huge gulp of water and it’s just like satisfying quenching, thirst quenching experience and I think real meaningful connection has similar feeling to that gulp that when you leave a conversation or you leave time spent with somebody or a group, you feel full, there’s this fullness that is connected with the idea of being truly connected with somebody else
Rana Olk (Host): I love that and I love the metaphor because what I think you would probably agree with is when you go out and start meaningfully connecting with people, like that stranger that you talk to with the Jason project, right? People truly are thirsty there or as I would have said starving for meaningful connection and yet everybody has this invisible barrier this perceived risk that’s keeping them from doing and connecting in a way that they really wish to and I’m of the opinion that some of these people also you know the strangers that I approached who were starving for meaningful connection didn’t really think about it or realize it themselves until they had the conversation with me about connection and so I think that it’s partly going back to what necessitates these conversations right now, it is not to blame everything on the technology part but you know the fact that we are so digitally connected and kind of obsessed is partially to blame for it
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Yeah, I think that it’s part of what contributes to it but I do think that like many other tools in our world I think technology as a tool and like a hammer, we can choose to use it to smash our finger or build a house and option those are choices that we have and so I think there is the element of choice connected with how we connect and that isolation, so I don’t totally want to pass the buck there I didn’t want one other.
So my co-founder of “we will wise” If I was channeling him into this conversation right he would probably, he’s our book ask powerful questions and so he has a ability with words or he what I’m trying to say is he would give you a formal definition to what is connected and if he did it would be something along the lines of being in a conversation where both parties mutually, they’re willing to know each other, they are really seeing each other, they’re really hearing each other, they get each other and then at some point they’re actually with each other and so I could attach other words to each of those but I think it’s all of those things are very process-oriented which is; I think important to bring out or highlight or identify when you’re talking about meaningful connection or meaningful conversation because I don’t think it’s about the content, I actually believe that you can talk about the weather with somebody and have it really matter, it just most often doesn’t because we’re not curious about it it’s obligatory small talk that we’re filling with time but I do believe that if you were really curious about the weather you were genuinely curious how it impacted somebody else etc. like content aside you can create that connection with somebody.
Rana Olk (Host): Can you connect with people without being curious?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Ooh! I’m continually testing this theory, so I’m working I’m developing a new model right now.
Rana Olk (Host): Interesting
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Mentioned I’m an enemy of small talk, I would say that my personal mission on the planet is to gently eradicate small talk and so one of the models that I’ve been creating around that if you picture a four bar 2×2 matrix on a spectrum of small talk to conversations that matter, the way that I can define best, I think define and pick that apart is draw the draw the y-axis and from a scale of high degree of mutual curiosity and a low degree of mutual curiosity, when I went to label each segment, I was thinking, I’m like alright so the conversations that matter that have a high degree of empathetic curiosity, we’ll call those conversations that matter. Conversations that matter that have a low degree of curiosity I would say our need to have conversations
Rana Olk (Host): Mm-hmm
Chad Littlefield (Guest): These are ones that like you might need to fire an employee or talk with a child about something that’s really uncomfortable for you to talk about and so you might not be curious but that conversation really matters right and there’s care and associated with that anyway skipping ahead on the scaled small talk with a high degree of empathetic curiosity, the only name that I could come up with that idea was impossible conversations.
I don’t actually know if it’s possible to have a small talk conversation if there’s a high degree of empathetic curiosity
Rana Olk (Host): Interesting, okay
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Yeah, so there’s a long way to way of saying right now and I’m still testing and playing with this idea a little bit but as I’ve been working with groups, I’ve been challenging people, I’ve been laying that model out and challenging people to try to have a small talk conversation with somebody by pairing up and following your natural genuine curiosity and so far, nobody’s succeeded
Rana Olk (Host): I had no idea you were working on this by the way, I mean a pay audience you should know Chad and I have had one conversation prior we’re almost strangers but we have something in common in topics in common but know that is interesting that you know because it’s something that I’ve wondered as well when I’m trying to talk to people about connection and teaching them how to connect, I wonder often if you can teach curiosity it seems as though some people are born more curious, I think all of us are curious as children and some people lose it, so I don’t know if you can take them back to that time in their lives when they were children and teach them curiosity but I still nevertheless will insist that there are some of us who are just naturally more curious and even if I’ve lost some of it I still have plenty left, so you know there’s no cure for it in my case
Rana Olk (Host): There is no cure for curiosity, no, it is a wonderful disease. I would offer a reframe, so you mentioned before we started recording, you mentioned that you had just started reading, asked powerful questions and I’m grinning really big because that book was actually me and we’ll condensing down ideas that we were we worked for an organization called world in conversation and we our job was to train a group of facilitators to walk into a room of six to ten people and facilitate a dialogue on things that people aren’t let’s talk about like race, gender, culture, long term conflict, for ninety minutes with the sole purpose of skipping the headlines and really empathizing and understanding the other transforming conflict into collaboration.
Anyhow that facilitation training was this really intense deep dive into teaching, theory teaching people how to be curious because if you’ve ever if you’ve ever seen a kid you have kids or you’ve been around kids they are walking around the world asking why why-why why, they’re so curious about the world and at some point and perhaps our education system has had a role in this, I don’t think certainly not to blame but had a role in saying find the right answers there is a right answer it’s not about exploring things, it’s like know this information to pass X test.
I do think that’s actually changing quite a bit but the reframe on curiosity is as far as like visited you know the nature versus nurture is it a gene or is it something that we can actually cultivate, I think that curiosity is much more like a muscle that if we don’t use it at atrophies and if we use it we can strengthen it and become more curious and I actually don’t think that it unlike a muscle, I think it can be strength and quite a bit faster than a bicep or triceps
Rana Olk (Host): You know I like that I think I definitely have to agree with you there. So we talked about positive social risks a little while ago and the feeling that I would describe that oh my gosh I’m going to approach somebody, my heart’s beating, I have butterflies in my stomach there is there are lots of reasons for it it’s I think ultimately fear and fear of rejection fear of some sort of negative consequence you know the person, I don’t know being really mean to you really it’s a vulnerable feeling and so I’m curious since we’re good at that now, we’ve kind of mastered that, what else makes you feel vulnerable?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Interesting! I don’t know that I’ve fully mastered it but my for me a positive social risk actually is so dependent on the person and so the idea is that it’s stretching your own inner personal comfort zone wherever that is and so I know people who a positive social risk is calling to order pizza instead of doing it online, like that is what brings their heart rate up and stretches them to the outer limits of you know outside the learning growth zone into that panic zone of my palms are sweaty and I’m noticing this biological reaction going on.
So, your question to me though is now that you because I would say I would agree with you that my threshold is probably a bit higher
Rana Olk (Host): Yea
Chad Littlefield (Guest): You know for this work especially seeing that a decent amount of my work includes getting up and from a you know a thousand strangers and speaking sharing ideas and opening myself to their own perceptions, judgements etc. so there’s plenty of perceived risk there.
So I would say that actually still even though I love that and speak dozens and dozens of times a year that still is what most reliably gets my heart rate up and I think it’s one of the reasons that I actually love it because part of my job is inviting people to stretch outside of where they’re comfortable try things that they may not have ever tried before and so I better practice that myself and rather than just asking other people to practice it and so each year I take on one big comfort zone stretch experience or project or something and so a couple years ago I went on a ten day silent meditation retreat and so that was a maybe that’s a positive antisocial risk.
Rana Olk (Host): That is a risk though from what I’ve heard others describing to that would be a challenge, describe that, what was hard about it?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Oh my gosh! I run an organization whose mission is to create conversations that matter and I signed up for a 10-day silent retreat where you couldn’t look at anyone, they collected phones, books, journals, there was no there was no writing there was no reading it was literally you sitting meditating for 10-days
Rana Olk (Host): Okay, I didn’t know now this is definitely off my list, hats off to you, I did not know that you don’t get to read or write either
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Oh my gosh, yeah.
Rana Olk (Host): That would be torture frankly, how’d you survive it?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): So, you know what actually was, what I was surprised about was it was easily one of the hardest things that I’ve chosen to do.
Rana Olk (Host): Yes
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Not the hardest thing I’ve ever done but one of the hardest that show opted into doing and I think one of the reasons that it was so difficult, I thought it was going to be because I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t quote connect with other people, that wasn’t it at all, I connected very deeply there’s lots of connection happening with myself. One the hardest thing was the lack of being able to do something and so if I’m a personality scale of being an accelerator to being a break, I felt very hard on the accelerator end of things right so if I hear an idea within minutes and needs to be put into action or I’m not satisfied
And so that was really hard to be able to have, I had, I probably had seven years’ worth of ideas projects new tools and products to launch for we all the stuff and I wasn’t even able to write them down
Rana Olk (Host): Oh my god
Chad Littlefield (Guest): This day and it would like it all just faded away and it was actually the deepest and best practice in letting go of all that’s not I’m not being so attached to the thing around us well but it yeah not doing anything was by far the hardest part
Rana Olk (Host): Wow! So, obviously you learned a lot from it would you do it again?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Would I do it again? So one of the reason I ended up doing it anyway was my business partner Will, had done several of them I think that was his tenth 10-day course that he had sent over the course of his lifetime right so he you know this was over the last 30-years he sat in horses, right now I’m not going to write it off, right now absolutely not, I have no desire to give in no way.
However, I still choose to meditate regularly it has a very deep, when I’m actually being deliberate about it when I’m not failing at meditating which is often enough, I it has a very big impact though on my own ability to focus and be present with people that I’m working with and the work that I’m doing and involved with. So yeah, I’m they didn’t make me want to give up sitting quietly for sure but…
Rana Olk (Host): I think we could have a whole half-hour hour or more conversation just about that, I’d be very curious about all the seat there I go curious, I want to know all the little details about that retreat but maybe we’ll save that for another time since we have a whole audience list to us right.
Chad Littlefield (Guest): I think your curiosity is a gift that you give to the world thank you but yeah, we can round to another time
Rana Olk (Host): Yeah right, so when you now, you have these connect cards, which for those of you listening if you which we’re going to get that information later but when you go to WE’ the website that chad is going to share with us there are connect cards that have questions on them what is your favorite question or one of them I know it might be hard they’re your babies right, you know you can’t pick and choose what is one favorite question that you like to answer or ask?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Wow! That is a good question, we might have to add that to the deck, what’s your favorite question?
Rana Olk (Host): Whoa! Okay
Chad Littlefield (Guest): So, for those of you listening I’m a very visual person, so just so like sink this in a little bit the deck of WE’ connect cards that Ron is talking about, 60-square cards, different colors and just a question on one side and then action on the back and so the questions are color coded into questions that tend to be a little bit more fun and like, green cards blue cards tend to have questions they’re a little bit deeper and then purple cards encourage some level of self-reflection, we created that purple category specifically to invite introverts into the room and give permission and space for people to think before they respond. So that said
Rana Olk (Host): Thank you for explaining that
Chad Littlefield (Guest): What’s that?
Rana Olk (Host): Thanks for explaining that
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Yeah, sure. So, out of the deck of questions I have lots of questions that I love but I think the one that is most usable in almost any context of life is what is life teaching you right now, that question, what is life teaching you right now? Because I can ask myself that at any given moment when somebody cuts me off of the highway, what is life teaching me right? Now hmm patience, perhaps or I can ask it to my wife when she comes home from work, what is life teaching you right now? I usually, I usually don’t greet her with a with a question like that touch base first and check in but yeah, it’s a pretty potent question, I will say my wife’s favorite question is in the green category and it’s how well would you get along with your clone and the reason
Rana Olk (Host): Woo!
Chad Littlefield (Guest): You got a visual respond to that question
Rana Olk (Host): Not a good way for me, I know I’m very hard on myself, I work on it all the time and so you know I imagined that I think my husband would say I’m hard on him too, so I’m really grateful that my husband is in many ways the opposite of me, let’s put it that way, we complement each other, I think if he was like me, hmm! I don’t know if we would have lasted 15-years, so that’s a great question.
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Alright and it is a part maybe if she maybe needs to be a blue question actually, I mean you can answer playfully but it I think it actually does cut to the heart of something very deep which you just mentioned which is; I am hard of myself and a lot of people are most people are probably their own worst critics and so in you
Rana Olk (Host): I bet everybody listening right now can relate in some way to that either they know somebody or they are themselves
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Yeah, oh my goodness and in some moment in the next 48-hours if you’re not relating to it if you’re and you’re paying attention to the voice inside your head in the stories themselves you will you will notice that show up so
Rana Olk (Host): Yeah, yeah for sure. So, if people could describe you in just one word Chad, what would you want them to say?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): You know I have the because of my work people do describe me in one word and often and the way that that shows up is I’ll be working with a group and somebody will come up to me afterward and say they’ll react they’ll say something about what just happened and it’s usually it’s related to me right, it’s sometimes it’s related to the ideas but oftentimes who you’re being shows up louder than what we’re saying or well
Rana Olk (Host): Sure
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Right, so and I noticed this when I first started speaking, 100-percent of the times that I would speak, somebody would come up to me and verbatim would say Oh Chad I just loved your energy thanks so much for bringing this energy into the range that this way like taking up space in the room just creating this like little bubble around us that we could connect in and so that word energy something that I totally would never ever eve- ever, ever have used to describe myself as somebody who tends to be a little bit more left brained and logical energy is like well what is that, what do you mean, that him like I can’t point to it I can’t touch it and yet I’ve since learned to own that word and appreciate that word a little bit because I think what people were seeing in me and me being a harsh critic of myself, I wasn’t letting in, I wasn’t letting that voice in is was this compliment of who I am and how I show up, when I show up and I’m energetic, I’m not when I’m speaking you’re working with a group I don’t need to like jump up and down ten times and like pretend to be energetic with the crowd like, I really love life and I’m really passionate about the possible connections that can occur when I work with a group and so that energy naturally shows up and I think it is a gift people so
Rana Olk (Host): You’re in flow when you are doing that
Chad Littlefield (Guest): There you go
Rana Olk (Host): Yeah right?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Loie, how’s that for a word
Rana Olk (Host): There you go, well I think that was actually one of the things that I observed about you and I’d love for our audience to go and watch your TED Talks, they’re really awesome but you are very energetic, you take up a lot of space, you gesture a lot you have a lot of hand movements you walk around you move around and I was wondering myself it’s almost as if you’re acting out of play on stage and I don’t know are you like that in your personal life too?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Yes friends know to keep at least a three foot accident, I actually know I had in college I had you know most people in most colleges require you to take a public speaking course and it was the lowest grade I ever received in a college course I was in my public speaking class because I had a professor, I had a professor who said who just absolutely hated the hand motions and he tried so hard to get me to keep my hands by my side when I was talking or use very, he just invited me to use my hands as batons directly my fingers tight together and like very robotic and I couldn’t do it and I and I said a man this is a part of who I am and I think I think that despite your opinion of it, I think that it will be good in the future so I’m just going to get a bad grade and keep being me in this moment and so
Rana Olk (Host): Good call, good call Chad. So, I could talk to you forever and ever I really-really appreciate this before I asked my very-very important question I have a second most important question and that is where can people find you find out more about you, see you, where would you send them?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Thanks that is a generous question, so our website, unfortunately we.com cost about two to three million dollars, so we passed on that one, the website WE’ is www.weand.me and so that’s the easiest place to find out about everything if you’re curious about the book, ask powerful questions create conversations that matter just become a number one Amazon bestseller and so you can find a wherever and so that’s one place and then the we connect cards can be googled as well.
Rana Olk (Host): So, repeat, because I think there might have been a little connection brief connection snapper when you were saying the website name, we.com I imagine, that was taken but www.weand.me
Chad Littlefield (Guest): www.weand.me that’s the website, you can also google my name chad Littlefield there will wise as well, that works too
Rana Olk (Host): You know there is another very famous chad Littlefield, right?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): There is
Rana Olk (Host): Am sure you hear that a lot
Chad Littlefield (Guest): Yeah, for those who do Google, if you remember the American sniper Chris Kyle who was murdered he was murdered with a friend whose name was also chad Littlefield, yeah I was juror I was riding my bike across campus I was teaching at Penn State and I looked on the TV there CNN was playing in a building and the lines growing on the bottom red Chad Littlefield shot dead and I stopped my bike got off and checked my pulse to make…
Rana Olk (Host): And we shouldn’t laugh about it but yeah, that is what comes up and that’s a very famous, very famous terrible event. So for those of you who do Google make sure you google Chad Littlefield we and me if you have two or a Chad Littlefield TED talk even better.
So, one last thing Chad I love for the audience our listeners to be able to take something from our interviews that they can apply into their lives, I mean like if they’re getting out of their car if they were listening to this in the car, if they’re at home wherever they are, today they can apply something they can take an action that would reinforce what they learn today for you what would that be? What would you recommend for them?
Chad Littlefield (Guest): I would invite people and this is this is like not something you need you even wait an hour for like the second that this podcast ends you can choose to do it, we talked about curiosity a little bit I would invite people to follow your natural genuine curiosity both with people and in your world, but that’s not concrete enough for me I told you I was left brained. So, actually the tool we actually teach people in terms of how do you actually do this I called the awkward elevator tool and so the reason I call it that is; if you were in an elevator and you were hey you had to connect with this person what would you do what would you say what would be the ice quote, icebreaker or the conversation starter for that and the tool that we teach people is to follow your natural Jain curiosity by finding something that somebody is wearing, carrying, sharing or presenting and ask them an open question rooted in your natural genuine curiosity about that
Rana Olk (Host): Awesome
Chad Littlefield (Guest): And the reason I would invite people to do that if you want a reason to actually take the social risk is that most of us when we walk out into the world into public, we do not look the same as we did when our alarm clock went off that morning, right? From the moment our alarm clock went off to the moment that we showed up in public we made conscious choices about what we put on our body so be it a wedding ring, a necklace, watch the way that we did our hair the way that we didn’t do our hair all of that says something about where we’re at in that moment and potentially even who we are so you think about the Jason project and Henry’s hat this was his symbol of saying hey this is a piece of Who I am in the world and so it’s in an elevator it’s this safe route to ask questions that actually access a much deeper-deeper conversation, deeper part of who somebody is
Rana Olk (Host): Thanks Chad, thanks so much. Loved it everybody, I hope you take that to heart it will change your life it’s you know cultivate that curiosity, connect with somebody today, connect with somebody tomorrow, maybe you know you’re listening to this at night whenever it is but it will change your life and I also invite you to connect with me you guys before we go I want to let you know I have a special email address just for you to send any comments or questions or whatever it is you have to say, even if it’s just hello, I want you to send me an email if you feel like it, at firstname.lastname@example.org
So, until next time, thanks very much for listening and we’ll see you later. Bye-bye!