My guest today is Kevin Strauss. He believes and is right on about, the fact that we as humans yearn to feel closer to others – especially to those who matter most to us. And yet sadly, we’re more disconnected than ever. He’s on a mission to spread awareness of the critical role that our sense of belonging and connection plays in our overall wellbeing. He studies and works in the field of emotional health now after spending many years in biomedical engineering and technology. He’s created what I think is a brilliant tool to solve the problem of our increasing disconnection and isolation, and I cannot wait for you to hear about it.
Find Kevin at: http://KevinRStrauss.com
Check out his creative tools at: https://www.FamilyeJournal.com
For more episodes go to : https://schoolofconnection.com/podcast
Rana Olk (Host): Hello Everybody, I am coming to today from The Semesta Hotel and resort in coconut girls, Miami. I’m on the 15th floor I have a beautiful view of the marina and the ocean and it is a gorgeous day. As you’ve been following me, you know that we are been relocating to Southern California, and I’m really happy about that but in our final days and hours here…and I’ve lived here for 21 years so it’s very bittersweet. We’re finally out of the house, all our stuff is on an 18 wheeler somewhere out there ahm, I don’t know maybe in Texas by now. We’re saying goodbyes to our friends and I’m killing some time before we have to greet our stuff in our new home, sometime in the next week or so and it’s weird because I think it’s really hitting me right now even though we’ve known and been preparing for this for a couple of months. I’m sharing this with you because it’s just really what’s on my mind, I’m feeling a little melancholy about this because it’s just so easy to take where you are and the people around you for granted. Another one is so busy you couldn’t get together with the friends you love and before you know it suddenly your time is very limited and guess what Y’all, you find the time, you do fond things and you’ll realize, “Oh, I could’ve done more of this.” Like, my husband and I spent this weekend just totally getting together with all his friends and having this awesome time and it’s what we’ve been missing, it’s what I’ve been missing, it’s what we’re all missing. We’re increasingly disconnected and t just really takes a conscious and mindful effort to nurture our connections and our relationships. So, I just to share that with you that’s what I’m feeling and it’s appropriate to what we’re gonna be talking about today. My guest is Kevin Strauss, he is on a mission to spread awareness of the crucial world that our sense of belonging and our connections play and our overall well being. His studies and works will be in emotional help now after spending many years in Biomedical Engineering Technology. He’s created what I think is a brilliant tool to solve the problem of our increasing disconnection and isolation, I couldn’t possibly do justice to him so I can’t wait for you to hear about him and what he does. Here he is, Kevin thank you so much, my friend. Thanks for being here.
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Hi, thanks for having me. I’m excited to have a conversation.
Rana Olk (Host): [laughs] Me too. So let’s start off with the Intro Identity and I know that you do so many other things but let’s talk about ‘well-being.’ What is your take on well-being and what it really means?
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Ah yeah, Well-being and wellness which can be used I think interchangeably at this point…you know I think of wellness and well-being really as uhm… you know, nurturing ourselves in every aspects that we can or really the key aspects of health and I think those key aspects come down to 4 primary areas. A lot of people have a lot of different definitions but I like to choose physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, and specifically separating out a mental and emotional. I think that’s really important these days.
Rana Olk (Host): I think I love that you stressed out because everybody understands physical health and it is in the area of emotional and mental health that I think things get a little confusing and especially in our culture and in the media that distinction between mental health and emotional health isn’t made and you have a really great way of distinguishing those two. Could you expand on that?
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Sure! I love to because I really think definitions help a lot. [yes] So once you have that foundation…that basis. So I think of mental health a little differently that I think would mainstream society and even though the whole industry thinks of it. I think of mental health really as our ability to focus, create and think clearly to perform those complex cognitive tasks, so that when we are struggling mentally we can’t think straight, you know… when you’re at work let’s say and you get piled on with three more projects and all of them with the number one priority it’s just hard to think straight or it’s difficult to work for hours without taking a break. So just like in physical health, you need a break from exercise, you also need a break from your mental processing. See, your brain needs a break. We actually think binge-watching on Netflix can be a good thing because it gives your brain a break. Now emotional health, I think of really the definition I choose is our ability to give and receive love. So love, connection and belonging, so it’s really the feeling, so whereas mental health is the thinking ability, emotional health is the feeling ability. And when we don’t learn how to love at that young…you know. We’re talking the first year of life, the first day of life, even when we struggle to feel love and we don’t really learn that ability, that skill, ’cause we get shut down or otherwise shamed or judged for expressing our feelings, I think that is what really damaging our emotional health. It’s the connection and relationship that nurtures our emotional health, and then what I think the result of emotional health the output is our behaviors.
Rana Olk (Host): Yeah, and I think there are times and I don’t know if you and I agree on this 100%, but there are times when they do kind of co-mingle, right? Let’s take for example [absolutey] of being really stressed out at work. So in your opinion, if we’re gonna lay this out and paint a picture for our listeners, let’s say I’m really stressed out at work. I’ve got 17 projects, they’re all urgent, you know [laughs] I don’t know how to prioritize them, and so a day in the life of me with this work stress. How is that going to impact my emotional health and my physical health and what am I gonna be like at home? Like, if you were to paint a picture, how would you paint that now?
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Well, It’s by the first thing you brought that up, I completely agree and I think that gets to what we’re talking about with well-being. Because I really do believe and there’s really good evidence of this, that the different rounds of health all impact the others. So when you’re working or nurturing your physical health you can get some secondary benefits in your mental health. Maybe treasure benefits in your emotional health, if your mental health is struggling and you’re burned out or stressed out at work then that can impact your emotional health, which then impacts your physical health. And I can tell you, when I was at in a recent job, when I was working for someone else, it was so emotionally taxing. I was still able to function fine mentally but once I got home at the end of the day…you know, I’ve been an iron man tracking for 17 years, I didn’t even want to exercise. All I wanted to do was watch videos about people living in RV life, you know.. [laughs] that’s all I wanted to do, that’s the only thing that made me happy. You know that, and talking to friends over the phone. I was so emotionally drained and exhausted and beat down from work that I didn’t even want to exercise, you know…which I love. So I totally believe that they all impact the other, I didn’t exactly answer your question uhm, but I truly do believe that. And one analogy that I really like especially with the four elements of health is your car and the tires of your car. If any of your tires goes flat, your car doesn’t run well. Think your well-being works the same way, we tend to I think you mentioned already, we tend to pump up just one tire which is our physical health [yes] but if the other three our flat, you’re not going anywhere in that car. You’re gonna really struggle in that car, and I think that’s where we’re struggling in humanity where we’re really only focusing on the physical health and too often our mental, emotional and spiritual are being neglected and then we’re just not well.
Rana Olk (Host): Well, physical health that’s tangible, right? That’s easy to say, “Jule’s don’t do that.”, and when it comes to mental health the only time people really think about it is when things are going away. [yah] unfortunately–
Kevin Strauss (Guest): And it happens a lot even with the physical health. You know it’s come around where people are more mindful of their nutrition and then their eating habits and getting their exercise or their steps, you know it’s a great thing getting your steps in, but it’s not until you know, any of the [inaudible] it always happen. But until you get cancer or you know, or hard disease or something where you really may change your behavior but even then, you can look at studies and death is not always a decurrent or a catalyst for behavior change. Like for smoking let’s say.
Rana Olk (Host): Yeah, for some reason it just popped into my head. Ariana Huffington wrote a book called I think it’s ‘Drive’, not that I read it but I remember she had a fall or she wasn’t getting enough sleep, then she was burnt out and working so hard, and so it is something like that. All of a sudden it wakes us up to the importance of mental health and getting rest. So if you were to tell somebody just like physical exercise is hopefully preventive of certain physical ailments and diseases, what would you tell them to do for their mental health, emotional health, spiritual health?
Kevin Strauss (Guest): [Inaudible] great question I love it, because physical health like fitness, and you know exercise and eat well, rightly clean, let’s say. Mental health, I think give your brain a break is the first thing. So whatever that means to you, that could be meditation, that could be I could even think mine from this actual could even fall into giving your brain a break. I think that helps to maybe nurturing your mental health or practice good mental health, but I don’t think they give your brain a break that the brain simply needs. Going for a walk, reading a book, watching some you know mindless television, they even say movies are better than watching lots of videos, say on youtube, because with a single movie or TV show you can really immerse yourself in it.. in that entertainment [yeah] and really take your mind off of everything else. A lot of people like reading you know books, touching novels, you know whatever it is that’s fine giving your brain a break. For emotional health, I really think it… it mostly comes down to–it’s just not about being happy, right? You know emotions run the whole game but I think what nurtures our emotional health, that ability give and receive love, to feel connected, to feel belonging is really just having a great conversation with someone that you trust and love. That’s really what it comes down to-or it doesn’t have to be a conversation it could be an experience. You know two guys can go fishing and not talk for 8 hours and feel like they really connected. I think that’s from a ‘Remembering the caveman’ or something. There was a one person act that was going around several years back [I love that] Yeah! So just sharing an experience. You know girls, women might got to the spa together or have their nails done or have tea or whatever that might be. Guys might watch a football game you know and meet they’re… you know selves or something. [Laughs] It’s just something that kinda share connection, but I think having that deeper conversation where you really get an opportunity to share how you feel and what you’re thinking about ’cause too often conversations are just very surface level. You know most text messages, especially between parents and kids yeah, I can’t remember the numbers but most text messages are really just logistical based. You know it’s “What time you gonna be home from work?”, “What time you gonna be home from school?”, “What’s for dinner?”, “Have you picked up the dry cleaning?” that’s most of the text messages are about. It’s not well, “How do you really feel today?”, or “What’s really going on in your world today?” you know,” What are the thing that matters most to you right now?”, and it’s important for both parties to be sharing that information. If just one person is sharing, you’re not gonna really feel the same kind of connection ’cause connection is a two-way street. [Yeah] That’s gonna be both, ahm there’s a lot about connecting with self ahm I could go on about that, but I really think to nurture the emotional health, it’s connecting with others and there’s a lot of research on that.
Rana Olk (Host): Do you offer…or think about… or I don’t know that I’ve asked you or seen this. Spiritual, what would you recommend for spiritual health or is that very individual?
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Actually, I don’t think it’s very individual. I well, it is in a sense what you actually choose to do, but the definition is universal. We’re humans right? [Yes] We all have basic needs. So I think for spiritual health, the definition that I choose for spiritual health is the ability of a person to know, understand and pursue their purpose. So that has nothing to do with God and religion which is what most of the spiritual health usually gets that kind of a definition. But I think that that discriminates against people of different religions or different beliefs or whatever. However, with my definition or the one that I choose, if my purpose is to serve God well then that nurtures my spiritual health and I have my God and religion component to it. But if my purpose is to take care of my family, so I need to you know get a job and make money or I need to be at home and ahm connect with my kids and keep them out of harms away and feed them and clothe them and give them shelter, that’s my purpose you know. For me, I’m not married, I don’t have any children. What gets me out of bed every day is doing what we’re doing right now. I’m talking about emotional health and well-being and really helping people connect in a deeper way.
Rana Olk (Host): I love that because spirituality really is about finding meaning, meaning and purpose. And for some people that is you know God, motion of God the religions helps them find that meaning.
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Absolutely, that is totally awesome. Go for it if that works for you and that gives you a purpose, if that’s what gets you out of bed everyday buckle roll.
Rana Olk (Host): So this is a great segway for me to ask you if you getting out of bed every day and pursuing your mission succeeds. Let’s say there’s a finish line, right? What is that look like to you? What is the mission?
Kevin Strauss (Guest): [laughs] My mission, my vision ahm total success is world peace that’s it.
Rana Olk (Host): Explain on that please, world peace.. okay.
Kevin Strauss (Guest): So I’ll try to make it as brief as possible. But I believe that what I’ve come to learn of the last 20 years of digging into connection and relationships and human behavior…what I’ve come to believe and understand is that behavior is driven more by person’s emotional health than anything else. Because when we don’t feel love and when we don’t feel connection and belonging it hurts and it’s really painful and that pain is not physical it’s emotional, and a human or an animal which we are will do anything to avoid pain. So we don’t have any real systems to help us connect in a deeper more authentic way so we choose behaviors to try and compensate in some way. So a lot of people choose alcohol to forget their pain or drugs to forget their pain. And yes they can get chemically addicted but even with cigarette smoking and which they say the scientist’s say nicotine is even more addictive than opioids, let’s say. If the nicotine is really the hook that’s keeping people addicted, well first of all people weren’t be able to quit [INAUDIBLE] but when they came out with the nicotine patch they thought “Oh we’re gonna solve the nicotine addiction ’cause we’re gonna give smokers the exact chemical that they’re hooked to, that they’re chemically hooked to.” But the nicotine patch is only successful in 17.7% of the users. So that told me that more than 80% of the reason that people are addicted to smoking is not the nicotine, it’s something else. So when you look at the research which is all very scattering around because you know people, researchers, scientist are all looking for individual behaviors which I call ‘symptoms.’ They’re looking at eating disorders and they find that when people feel more connected they’re eating disorders improves. Depression, when you feel more connected, your depression improved which you know depression is really bad well could lead to suicide. Anxiety improves when you feel more connected, your eating habits improved when you feel more connected. Let’s be honest, how many people eat their feelings?
Rana Olk (Host): At some point, I would venture to guess almost all. [Exactly]
Kevin Strauss (Guest): it only has become an extreme situation that can really be detrimental you know everything [inaudible] right? So little bit here and a little bit there…so bad. But you know the researches are pretty clear when you look at all of it as a scattered around by behavior but not so much by intervention. The intervention is the connection Yohart Harry has written two fantastic books. One’s called ‘Chasing his dream’ which is about drug addiction and the roots of drug addiction, and addiction in general and he says that the opposite of addiction is the connection. It’s just a recent book that just came out in 2018 it’s called ‘lost connections’ where he digs into depression and anxiety again finding that the real solution to depression is connection. You know it’s not just a spontaneous brain chemistry in our function, I don’t think it is. I think that we’re just not going back far enough into a person’s environment, and by environment I don’t mean just the temperature and humidity you know I mean, ‘are you surrounded by arguing, under stress, and distress?’ even as a child, before you even realize it and before you can even filter out for yourself. I think I’ve come a little bit off topic, Oh vision and world peace, okay. So with all of these behaviors that we’re using to compensate, I mean when Amazon came out how many of us or the home shopping network–we try to buy things to fill the void [sure] the nicer car, the bigger house and that shows our status, our value in the world. Look how important I am, I matter in this world. But that need to matter in that way with the material things is really just a way I believe that people are trying to compensate for not really feeling the love and connection that they needed probably from before they were even six years old. So once we actually address the love and connection, we nurture the emotional health, then we will no longer need all of these compensatory behaviors. So when enough people are compensating with the destructive behaviors then we’ll be doing more constructive behaviors. Helping more others, you know those kinds of things and when we have enough people doing those kinds of things then that’s when we’ll have world peace.
Rana Olk (Host): I love it and you know I think anybody can relate to this on what you described was the macroscale, right? If everybody is doing this but on a macro scale I look at even my own house. My own household is just me and husband, right? These last few weeks that I have been you know, I have more on my plate than usual, stressed out. I have been awful. [laughs] I don’t like myself, I’ve been so irritable and that’s what it does. It make you irritable and so you’re more likely to behave in ways that you know… are yourself. we have an epidemic of everybody not being themselves, you’re not your best self when you’re stressed.
Kevin Strauss (Guest): You’re not, you’re not. And that’s why you know we’ve try–I’m a big fan of emotional intelligence. But emotional intelligence is really more…more about how you manage, how you understand and manage your emotions. Whereas emotional health is simply the ability to give and receive love. If I don’t feel love as a child then those neuro pathways get set up, you can change those neuro pathways but you know when they are already wired into your subconscious and get rooted as the foundation of your heart it is very difficult. It’s possible but it’s very difficult to change. Of course you can have a trauma later in life and then that can really cause ahm damage to your emotional health. But I think honestly most of this begins before we’re even 6 years old.
Rana Olk (Host): Well, it go would be to have less to have to manage, right? With emotional intelligence the less to have to manage the happier I would be.
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Yeah, yeah, And If I don’t have to manage you know, this distress, this anger, this frustration all the time, this not feeling loved, not feeling heard, not feeling valued, and acting out because of it, yeah there’s a lot less to manage. You know I think a lot those ‘me too’ movement and sexual assault, you know yeah it’s about power, okay that’s pretty well established but why do all these men feel the need to have power? And I would venture to say that this need to have power is a need to show status in the world, to show the world I matter. Because if I never felt like I mattered as a child, then now I need to compensate, I need to feel loved, to feel important and then that leads to power and then that leads to behavior and sexual assault and abuses just another behavior just another [inaudible] violence.
Rana Olk (Host): Wow, So– [Kevin: I’m not trying to be simple but I’ve been trying to look at this for almost 20 years now. Once you identified what I believe is the root cause it actually is simple.]
Rana Olk (Host):Well and that’s kind of how your mind works, right? To find the solution, you summarize it, make it simple, find the solution which is what you have been trained in. You come from biomedical field so how… I slip out on the intro and it’s about time we tell our audience how in the world you go from Engineering and the biomedical technology field to all these stuff–mushy stuff we’re talking about.
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Yeah, Yeah I’m all with this mushy stuff now. I know it’s so funny because you know going through high school and college it was always like numbers and you know Maths and Science and there’s an answer that kind of stuff. Yeah, I took Psychology courses in College for my HUmanities requirements and I found it super interesting and everything. But I think it was really right when I got into corporate America, into the workforce even though I was working since I was 14 years old. But it was when I got into the actual workforce, in the career and I was like “How was America this superpower?” like nobody wants to do anything at work. No one wants to accept responsibility, no one’s even like really working. [laughs] Yeah,I know. I was like what is… I will walk by this one guy’s office and he has his newspaper up in the air with his feet upon the desk for the first 2-3 hours of the day. Like how are we getting anything done? So it really lead me to the question of “Why do people do what they do?” I just don’t understand, I just don’t get it. Why people do what they do? For anything, you know. Why do they argue? Why do they trouble with the waiter everytime they go out to dinner? Why do they always have an issue with the clerk at the store? Why do they always argue with their kids, with their spouse or whoever? Why don’t they get along with their parents? You know and all that kind of stuff. And as an Engineer I’m a problem solver, I like to try to understand what’s going on with any problems and what I actually found in Engineering is when I break the problem down into smallest, most simplest element and if I can understand what the real problem is, understand what the root problem is, the solutions where always so easy. I mean they just gonna come to you. Okay, I’m just gonna brag for just a moment. But this is why I’ve earned 73 patterns now, and some of these… a lot patterns are being products that are being marketed and sold around the world and have earned hundreds of millions of dollars for the company and not for me. But that’s okay, I mean it’s all part of my job not all mine. [It’s a big deal though] It’s a big deal you know. These are medical devices that are being implanted in people and saving lives. They work so well because they’re so simple. You know once you understand the root problem which you’ll understand that from talking to the surgeons, the scrub tax and things like that. Once you can really tune on the problem the solutions are really not that difficult. They might be a really challenging actually but to know what the solution is is really pretty simple, and I think what I’ve come up with here is this emotional health component and it’s this need to feel love and it’s just as humans we just need it. It’s just the basic human need.
Rana Olk (Host): So where have we gone off the wheres. I mean as far as… there’s the family, right? I mean family of origin, first few years. Everybody has something that was an ideal [everybody does] in those years and yet still we have people who have had terribly dramatic childhoods, right? and seem to go on to do well, and then we have people who seemingly had everything going for them and maybe even did. They have very loving parents and can’t seen to get regret. Yeah what’s going on?
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Well… and let me just say, I am not immune to this either. I have my issues, you know. I mean…part of this whole journey is me trying to figure out my life and me trying to make my life better and fully well, if you will, though you know I’m not immune and we all have this. Ahm, I think a lot of it really does come back to your primary caregivers, so to say parents for right now and our inability to actually connect with our children. I-I don’t wanna say blame. I think this is just simply part of our species and how we were loved and we just, you know, as parents and I’m not a parent so I get that. [Laughs] Lots, of nieces and nephews and I was a child so, I have that experience but I think that as parents we only do what we know. We do the best that we can, we only do what we know, and what we learn. So, if we’re taught by someone who doesn’t really know and get it, then… we’re not gonna really know how to connect to our parents struggled to connect then I’m not gonna learn that skill and my parents. I mean look, my parents are great. I’m gonna I’ll just be personal here for a moment. My parents are fantastic. I know and I grew you know, upper middle class, you know, I had everything I needed so on and so forth. My parents love and supported me throughout to this day and that’s fantastic and I feel it, and it’s wonderful. At the same time, my parents criticized every single thing I do.
Rana Olk (Host): [laughs] I think a lot of us could relate
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Yeah, everything. There was a year back in the late 90’s where I would not allow my parents into my house literally they would come at me and I would be like ‘You cannot come in.’ they would be like ‘Oh! You’re being ridiculous for coming at me.” I would be like ‘No.’ and I literally would not let them into my house because as soon as they come in ‘Oh you got cobwebs, you need to dust’ What is your plan, you need to fix this, you need to fix that and I’m like ‘I don’t need this aggravation, right?’ I mean it’s ridiculous. So like yeah come in, I just don’t want you criticizing everything. So when that happens as a child, I think what happened to me was that I grew up with this feeling of not being good enough. and that’s my story. I think a lot of people struggled with the ‘ I don’t feel worthy, I don’t like I’m good enough” and that’s definitely my story or one of my stories anyway.
Rana Olk (Host): I have more than one too… you’re not alone! [Laughs]
Kevin Strauss (Guest): We all do. To me it wasn’t like a major trauma that happen but when you get nitpicked constantly for every like, even if I would get like you know, I get a 92 on a test. ‘Why wouldn’t you get a hundred?’ [Sure, yeah.] You know, I’m the baby of three so why don’t you get a good grade like your brother or like your sister [INAUDIBLE]
Rana Olk (Host): It’s relatable…
Kevin Strauss (Guest): That’s what happens, you get programmed and it get reinforced over and over so it still little things that add up over time and yeah both your parents went to college and I’ve league and they’re doctors and got money to go on vacations but if you don’t know how to connect to your kid and here’s what really key…it’s not just you connecting with their kid, you have to connect with your child in a way that they need to feel it right? [Yeah] So I can tell you I love you all day but if you don’t really feel it and believe it, it’s like it wasn’t said. I mean, I still think it’s better to say it than not say it but you gotta feel it so the real challenge is connecting to your child in the way that they need to feel connected.
Rana Olk (Host): So, you have told because you’re an innovator, you’re a patent holder of few dozen patents. You’re an innovator, a tool creator, so you have something for connection as well and you work with business as well as families. [Right] Can you tell us briefly about your tools.
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Sure. So we’ve been talking about connection, you know to this whole conversation and we’re hearing it more and more in the news and we’re seeing it in the workplace, wellness programs, or we’re not seeing it in the programs yet, but we’re seeing it in the conversation around connection in the workplace. Having that best friend at work which I actually think is a little bit off because I can’t tell you in that last job where I was being emotionally just through the wringer every day. I had a great team. There’s four of us and we’re so tight and we love each other you know. We- we are totally bonded as best friends at the office, Ahm… but it didn’t matter because the people that we need to actually hear us and value us were the upper management and they weren’t so, you know. In less than 18 months all four of us were gone out of that company because it was such a horrible, toxic environment. So we had our best friend at work but we weren’t getting the connection. We weren’t feeling heard and valued from the people who we need it from, and that’s our bosses in this example. So really each other as people first and in the workplace it’s important. You don’t have to share all your deep dark secrets but just getting to know what your interest are. Do you have a family? Do you like to do triathlon afterwards? you know, What your favorite Netflix series? You know just getting to know the normal, you know the elements of a person and personalities. not sharing the secrets but just getting personal. [Yeah, do you have siblings?] Yeah exactly, and how was that for you growing up? You know, being boss around because you’re an army. What was it like being friends as a youngster? You know, or are you a packrat? What’s in your closet that you haven’t taken out for 20 years? I don’t know just whatever, so by sharing these little personal elements with each other, that’s how we connect. That’s how we build rapport and trust. When you know, someone and understand in the move they know and understand you, the more likely you are to trust them. The more likely you are to negotiate, to compromise, to work together, that’s how you create the best terms of groups of people. So, the program that I developed is really just the way to pull up some of this information so that everybody has a chance to share their perspective on the world and for the corporate world, business world, the website is called corporatejournal.com, and it’s really just a fun ahm…question and answer platform where small group of people get online. there’s a huge database of questions. you answer set of questions like five minutes and you…the people in your group answers the same question and you get to read each other’s answers, and it’s all done through the written word and through website. We hear, we hear all the time that we have to talk to one another. We’re not talking enough, but I’m a big fan of talking obviously, you know, talking like crazy right now but we know that verbal communication is not the only means of communication and back in the day people used to write letters and become extremely connected just from writing letters. Sometimes, these letters may be delivered only one every few months. Like in times of war and you cannot see another person a few years, you know months or years at a time and you could become incredibly connected just through sharing your thoughts and feelings and write. We also do another writing in journal. the power of journaling and all the research around how therapeutic that is. So when you have the chance to share your perspective with this medium and it allows you to share your world to learn about other world and then for the personal relationships it works the same way and the website is called familyjournal.com. And it works exactly the same way the questions are just a little bit different but it’s a way to get to know your family or your group of friends. It could be a group of girlfriend, it could be extended family and since it’s all done online and it all done a synchronized, you don’t have to be [Inaudible] it works great if let’s say you got a family in a different time zone or in a different country. [Sure] It still connect in a deeper way and we have done research showing that it does pure view research showing that it does improve relationships and I also have statistically significant data showing that it improves depression. Which is not just you know one of the behaviors we talked about.
Rana Olk (Host): So you mentioned corporate e-journals and family e-journals so people can wrote… include those links in the show notes and people can look at it. I highly encourage you all to look at it. It’s very interesting, very cool, and where else can they find you besides my very last question. Well, hang in there we’re gonna ask the all-important last question, but where else can people find you? What website?
Kevin Strauss (Guest): Ahm So I guess, other than family e-journal and corporate e-journal.com, I guess if you wanna get in touch with me straight away you can go to kevinrstrauss.com and that’s just a general consulting type page if you want. I can do workshops and keynote speaking and things like that. if you bring this message, emotional help message in connection to you know larger audience things like that.
Rana Olk (Host): And we’ll include that in the show notes for sure. Ahm Kevin, what– now we have listeners out there. They’re maybe in their cars, they’re maybe thinking about this and what I like to do is to help them solidify and remember whatever it is that they might’ve you know… hit them is someway today. What is one action, something that they can do right away that would give them more of a sense of connection, belonging or improve their emotional health or spiritual health. Whatever you want, one action.
Kevin Strauss (Guest): I think, I think I’ll just reiterate what we talked about a little bit earlier. Which is try and have that conversation, have a deeper conversation with that one or two people who you really love and trust. You know, getting to it a little bit deeper where you can really share your feelings and what’s going on in your world? Have that little conversation and listen to the other person and what’s going on in their world? [perfect] they’ll feel great!
Rana Olk (Host): You know just maybe get curious. Ask somebody at work how many siblings they have. You know have coffee, it’s scary for people sometimes to [inaudible] curiosity comes natural to me. But there’s some people I do know, even my own husband is like that. I think they feel being nosy, I don’t want to be nosy. People likes to talk about themselves, they like to.
Kevin Strauss (Guest): I think once people get rolling they like to. But again I think a lot of what happens is especially when we’re young, very young that we get shamed, and we get judged and we get [inaudible] for sharing our feelings. You know in our society, feelings are considered a weakness but really that is where all our intuition comes from and our intuition is way smarter and way faster than our conscious brain.
Rana Olk (Host): That’s a great place to end. Kevin, thank you very much [Thank you] and I look forward to having further conversations with you offline. Y’all Kevin and I are gonna be buddies. So we had a few conversations before and it’s just a pleasure to get to know. [laughs] Thanks everybody for listening and don’t forget if you have any comments, questions, suggestions, I would love to hear from you! I have my special email address it is firstname.lastname@example.org. Hit me up! See you later, next time, bye!