Jan Keck is all about being curious, brave, and vulnerable in order to create more meaningful conversations. Those things are easier for some of us than for others, but one thing is for sure: we all want our interactions to be more enjoyable. Introvert or extravert alike, we all need genuine connections in our lives and Jan has created some fun tools and ideas to help us get there. He’s really fun to talk to, and his experiences thus far with ASK DEEP QUESTIONS show that there are many of us out there who want to know others and be known on a deeper level.
To Find Jan Keck: askdeepquestions.com
The Deep Dinner Guidebook: https://www.jankeck.com/product/deep-dinner-playbook/
Contact Jan Keck: https://www.jankeck.com/contact/
For more episodes go to: https://schoolofconnection.com
Rana Olk (Host): Hi everyone. We are two episodes in now to 2019. I don’t do resolutions on January 1, because I believe I can set new resolutions at any time but I do love reflecting, and I want to start out by sharing with you a bit about my reflections and intentions as we went into this new year because the guest I have on today has actually helped me and challenged me to think about my intention differently and to possibly take different actions. You’ll hear it towards the end of our interview and understand that he’s probably going to challenge me and follow up with me later on. But first, let me explain every January 1, I find myself thinking, “Hmm, I wonder what I’m going to be saying about the year ahead of us come next January 1, when it’s all over. What surprises are going to be in store for us?” It’s fun to reflect like this. I really enjoy it because I can remember asking myself the same question last year and if you had asked me to make 50 guesses at that time about what January 1, 2019, would look like, I would not have guessed Not in a million years that I’d be living in Southern California. So it’s kind of fun, right? To say, “Hmm, who would have thought I wonder what I’m going to be saying? Who would have thought about next year anyway?” I’d been in Florida for 21 years, you guys, that’s just a bit under half of my life. And so of course, I left a life there. I left a lot of friends there. And now I’m here in Cali and I have no new friends here. It’s just my husband and I and we have some acquaintances but we’re still trying to establish friendships and a social life that isn’t just about Me and him so that’s my biggest intention and you know what it is not as easy to make friends as an adult Wouldn’t you agree? Have you ever experienced that or have you at least said man it’s just not easy to make friends? I think a lot of people have lamented that do you wish for closer relationships, do you want friendships with more depth and intimacy, I know a lot of people who do or maybe you wish you were connected more to the people in your family maybe you wish that some people knew the real you the deeper you. Jan Keck is my very special guest today and he has unique solutions and ideas about how to make real friends as an adult and how to become better connected to the friends you do have. It’s really about finding ways to spark more meaningful conversations and making the time to get to know people. But also making the most of the time you have. You have to be curious. You have to be brave and willing to be vulnerable in those three words. Curious, brave, vulnerable, mean different things with respect to a very special tool that Jan has created that I am just in love with. Jan’s background was an audiovisual media and he’ll share how he unexpectedly realized what has become his life’s work. Ask deep questions, How do we do that and why? Why would you want to? Why should you if you want more meaningful connections and conversations in your life? You are going to love the ideas we talked about here. Hello Jan, thank you for being here.
Jan Keck (Guest): I’m excited to be here.
Rana Olk (Host): I am excited to talk to our audience about asking deep questions. But we’re not going to start right off the bat with that, why don’t you tell us what you do, who you are?
Jan Keck (Guest): Yeah. So one thing that I love doing is asking you questions, but there’s so much more than I do for people. I really want to help people feel disconnected and isolated, create more meaningful connections, because that’s what I needed to do when I moved from Germany to Canada about 11 years ago.
Rana Olk (Host): What was that all about? What made you completely change your life like that?
Jan Keck (Guest): To be honest, I didn’t really plan to change my life. I, at that time, just caught the travel bug. Like after I finished high school. I traveled in Australia and New Zealand for a year with a working holiday visa. And then when I came back to Germany, I’m like, okay, what’s the next country that I could visit? And how can I make it part of my studies because I had to do an internship semester? I just literally pick Canada because I met some fun Canadians traveling in Australia and wanted to improve my English. So I did my internship here. I was here for about a month when I met this girl fell in love. Now we’re married and have a kid.
Rana Olk (Host): That’s cool. That’s cool. So how long were you in Australia for beforehand?
Jan Keck (Guest): It was for a full year. So I finished high school, traveled for a year and literally said, If I get into this one program at the University, I will come back if I don’t get in, I will keep traveling because I had no idea what to do with my life by that time.
Rana Olk (Host): What did you end up doing? Because we’re going to get to the ask the questions part. But that’s not what you started out with?
Jan Keck (Guest): No. So the program that I was really interested in was audiovisual media and at that point, never filmed a video never really done anything with like visual or audio media. But I was really intrigued by it. So when I started, and I actually did get in the program and traveled back from Australia to started, I joined student TV. And they literally said, Okay, here’s a camera, if you have an idea, just go out, film it, and then we’ll put it up on the website, and everybody can see it and it was really empowering, because officially at university, we had to do the three semesters before you and allowed to rent an equipment. So, in the beginning, was all theory and you do a lot of classes, which was not the most exciting, but then getting the opportunity to do something creative and tell a story. That was the most amazing thing for me.
Rana Olk (Host): What were some of the interesting stories that come to mind for you anything crazy or original, or that got enthusiasts as a quick response?
Jan Keck (Guest): I think the first video we did was about our core, which is when people use the city as an obstacle course. And you basically run and you climb up walls, and you jump over fences. And you basically try to get from point A to point be really quick and anything that is in your way you have to overcome. So it’s kind of like a sport, but you can do it anywhere
Rana Olk (Host): Interesting. How do you go from audio, visual, creative, stuff like that, to all of a sudden being the spokesperson for asking deep questions?
Jan Keck (Guest): I think it’s very related in a way because when telling stories with video, which is really what I focused on in the program is documentary filmmaking. I had to interview a lot of people to be on camera and interviewing people is asking questions. And the other thing that happened is, I then started a video agency afterward. And we taught entrepreneurs and business owners how to be more charismatic on camera, how to connect with the audience. And now having the ask the question cards and running different events, I do the same thing. I still ask questions. I interview people, although I’m interviewing them more based on getting to know them as a person rather than capturing their answers. And I help people connect with each other. If it’s with their audience, through video, or in person at an event or at a dinner party, it’s the same thing for me.
Rana Olk (Host): You just said something really interesting. You said interviewing people with the intent of getting to know them, as opposed to capturing their answers. Help me the difference there.
Jan Keck (Guest): I think a lot of people, especially when you interview someone, you might go in with a list of questions and your focus is on how can I get through all the questions by the end of the interview. So you’re not really listening to what they’re saying? You’re not really asking to follow up questions, you’re not kind of following your natural curiosity to maybe go deeper into a subject and completely forget about the other questions, and in the end, I would say if you go in with like an interviewer mindset, you’ll finish your questions. But you might not really remember people’s answers. If you go in with more of natural curiosity, you might only get to one question and then to a completely different topic that you didn’t even research or think about before you started talking to the other person.
Rana Olk (Host): You know, as somebody who interviews people, I absolutely love that, right. I just had to hear how you would explain that because I understand what you just explained. But I never would have worded it so eloquently as you did. I absolutely love that. And this kind of makes me think about how when you go to conferences, or events, or any kind of network networking gathering, right? There is this implicit list of questions that people have that you and I basically, and a lot of people actually call small talk, where are you from? What do you do? What brought you here? And it’s boring because you don’t really get to know the person your solution is to? Let’s share that with our audience.
Jan Keck (Guest): Yeah, I actually believe that there is something that is meaningful, small talk where that first boring question becomes a portal to really getting to know someone. And that really is, again, following your curiosity, curiosity, but also paying attention when people light up. And you can often see that in their facial expressions and their body language when they get really excited about something. And I actually would say the question, what you do is maybe a great question. If people love what they do they want to talk about it, especially I’m at a lot of events around entrepreneurs, and people have a mission-driven business, and they love talking about what they do and what they’re creating. So that’s actually not necessarily a bad question. Just if you don’t know that people love their job, then you might invite them to talk about the job that they hate, and they will not light up the opposite will happen, they’ll probably just give you a short answer, and they are not engaged in continuing the conversation.
Rana Olk (Host): I think you made a great point. If I’m at a conference or networking event, it may be that I’m with people like you and me who love what we do. So I’m glad you pointed that out. If I’m going to a party and meeting people, I mean, let’s say it I was at a Christmas party, right? Every there were having drinks. And it’s kind of uncomfortable because the host knows everybody, but you don’t know anybody. And in those settings, I feel that saying, so what do you do is that portal, but it can also be that Okay, I know you’re going to ask this. I know, I’m going to get asked this. And it just seems like one of those hurdles that we have to jump before we get to the good stuff. Do you ever feel that way?
Jan Keck (Guest): I totally agree. And I believe that every single person needs to have their answer for what do you do, but I like to see it as a challenge of “Okay, how can I take my answer to that question and turn it into the bouncing boards to the topic I actually want to talk about.” So what do you do? You can I’d like to just keep the question so loose that I can talk about, well, I help people make more meaningful connections. And I don’t really say what exactly I do or what my job title is. Because the other thing that happens when you ask people, what you do is that sometimes you put them in a box, and I would say, I’ve done that for myself, where I asked people, what do you do? They say, Well, I’m a corporate lawyer. And immediately, I’m not interested in getting to know them anymore. Because I have these assumptions that I think that corporate lawyers are probably not the most interesting people. But if I asked them a different question might find out that they volunteer in their spare time, or they’re also a parent, or that we have other things in common, like, we’d like to go camping. And those would be subjects, we could talk for hours, or I could talk for hours with people. So I want to make sure like, the other thing I do is I choose different questions to increase the chance to talk about something that both are interested in.
Rana Olk (Host): And that’s really important. You mentioned two things here that I really love. First of all, you admitted that you have ways of putting people in boxes we all do. This is what our brains do. We need to create patterns, find patterns, create boxes, but being aware of them, recognizing them, and consciously doing something different is important. When you put somebody in a box of a corporate lawyer on interesting or whatever other tags you want to put on it and walk away, you’re missing out on a great opportunity. But when you’re aware of that box, you now can ask an interesting question. Out of curiosity. Hmm, you know, I’m, I’m putting this person in this box. But I wonder what really is fun or exciting to him outside of his job. And you might ask something related to that right.
Jan Keck (Guest): And sometimes the difference between small talk and a meaningful question is the difference between what you do and why did you decide to go into that profession? Like we’re still talking about work, but suddenly, I’m really getting to know somebody motivation behind it.
Rana Olk (Host): Oh, yeah, definitely. I agree with you, the more we spread the word about more meaningful conversations, I think we, I think we’re doing the world a service basically, right, that that’s what your intention is. That’s what I’m hoping to do. So if you were to give advice to our audience on how to create maybe not necessarily go right into deep, deep questions for conversations, but how to create a small talk that is more interesting. What would you say, because we do need those portals?
Jan Keck (Guest): Yes, and there are a few questions that I like to ask people, but they’re based on my personal interest as well. And actually, one question I just posted on social media yesterday, which I will start using because it’s gotten a really good response is, what do you do that makes you forget to check your phone? It’s like, it’s, it’s a really simple question. It doesn’t get super personal, it’s not a really deep question. But it gives everyone the opportunity to, first of all, realize, oh, maybe I’m checking my phone too much. And I shouldn’t check my phone, especially in this conversation that I’m having right now. But also, you really get to know something about them that they almost forget that time is passing. And usually, those are the things that you do that you love the most.
Rana Olk (Host): So it’s not something super personal or deep. But it does tell you something possibly very interesting about the other person it is a getting to know your question? Not necessarily if the person gives you wrote answer or maybe isn’t interested in conversing, but that’s not your fault. So, but the potential for sure is there It makes me think that maybe we need to better define small talk. What is small talk? When people say, “Oh, I hate small talk.” I know I say that. I know I’ve heard many people say that. How would you define it?
Jan Keck (Guest): I think small talk is the conversations where we where we go into almost like an autopilot. It’s we don’t have a better question. We feel awkward with the silence. So what can we say to just get rid of the silence and most of the time it’s literally the first thing that comes to mind which is usually the weather or talking about sports like an anything that is also not super super vulnerable, like a safe safe topic of conversation which sometimes ends up actually being about politics because that’s what’s in the in the news in the media and like around right now, and then that in my opinion backfires. Like anytime we start a conversation based on something that we both hate, or that we both dislike, we will still connect, but not in a positive way.
Rana Olk (Host): I agree. I like that. And I think there’s something in there too, about questions that are lacking in any real curiosity.
Jan Keck (Guest): Yeah, I would say that curiosity is a big part of it. And also with my ask the question cards, there are three different levels. And curious is the first level which I define as the just below the surface level questions. And if you can go there, and start there that will open up the way to go to the more vulnerable questions or the vulnerable topics after people feel comfortable and safe, and they trust each other.
Rana Olk (Host): This is a great segue to start talking a little bit more in detail about your cards before we talk about how they work. Tell us how to ask deep questions was born.
Jan Keck (Guest): So there are two things that happened. One is like the listeners right now was listening to a podcast. And the interviewer asked this really interesting question, which is right now, of course, I don’t remember. But I do remember that I opened up my phone and I started this document. And I wrote down that question. I’m like, okay, I want to ask that question to my friends. And as like months, and years went by that list started growing yet, I haven’t asked any of those questions to my friends, because of I kind of never thought about them. Or I didn’t feel I had the courage to even bring up those topics. Because especially the vulnerable questions, it’s almost like I’m putting people on the spot. And I didn’t want to make people feel uncomfortable if they didn’t want to talk about that topic. So I kind of put it away until two years ago, I was organizing a camping trip. And people that signed up, didn’t really know each other. So I created all these activities and exercises as part of the trip where we would do some meditation we would do in the forest, we would look at the stars and have different conversations there, we will do some visioning for the future and creates different plans of what we want to do when we come back. But the goal is really to have them connect with each other as much as connect with themselves. The problem was, it takes about three to four hours to drive from Toronto, up north to the park that we were starting the whole experience. And I didn’t want strangers sitting in a car for three or four hours without anything to do. So I went back to my questions in about four hours, I designed the first deck of 50 questions that I picked, and I just sent them to the printer pretty much the same evening, which was a week before the camping trip. So they literally arrived a day or two before I gave them to each car. And it changed the whole weekend into an experience that people really felt like they got to talk about the things that they always wanted to talk about, but never had the chance or the tools to.
Rana Olk (Host): That must have felt really, really good.
Jan Keck (Guest): It was a very fulfilling weekend.
Rana Olk (Host): So you knew you’re onto something.
Jan Keck (Guest): Yes. Especially after the weekend, everybody asked me, “Hey, so where can I buy those cards.” And at that point, I wasn’t really planning on creating a product or creating a business. And now it feels like I’m creating this whole movement that has grown a lot as I think about now, I’ve sold probably 1000 decks of cards just a year and a little bit after, I officially launched the cards.
Rana Olk (Host): So it’s interesting that you were in one field and you almost it could be said accidentally happened upon it. Would that be true?
Jan Keck (Guest): I would believe that it was just a matter of time before it happened. But it was definitely not a plan of letting me go out and create something, or even consciously like, I think for the camping trip, at that point, already, consciously wanted to create more community around me, and deeper relationships, because I experienced the lack of meaningful connections. But everything else that happened after was definitely just going with the flow and trying to catch up with what whatever is happening.
Rana Olk (Host): I love that you said that you believe it would have happened eventually. Because it really is true when you have a purpose or something you’re meant to do in this world. I think it shows up one way or another. Yeah, you just want to be paying attention.
Jan Keck (Guest): Yeah, and I think the probably there were opportunities before, but I just wasn’t ready.
Rana Olk (Host): So from there, it took off, right? I mean, you have a whole business around this. Now, could you tell us a little bit about how the cards have evolved then and how your business has evolved as a result of that?
Jan Keck (Guest): Yeah. So as I mentioned before, the cards now have three different levels. And the first one is curious. The next one with the deeper questions is brave. And then vulnerable, is the deepest question. And the first deck of cards is used for the camping trip just was one category, it was just called deep questions. But I’ve realized then afterward, I did a lot of playtesting. And there are some questions or just like, they’re amazing questions. But people are not ready to go there if that’s the first thing that they talk about.
Rana Olk (Host): So in other words, if I am just getting into this group, and we’re just starting, and I don’t know anybody in the first card that I pick is one of your vulnerable cards that says, What is one thing that you’ve been holding on to in your life that you need to get rid of, for example, right? Yeah, I’m going to say, yeah, I’m not answering that. I don’t know these people. So you realize you had to kind of do a slow easing into these is that correct?
Jan Keck (Guest): Yeah. And like, I guess intuitive, deadly. Pick that up from just playing with a lot of people like I hosted deep questions, and charity the questions and drinks the questions and dinner, do questions and Thai food, like all these different events, or just invited my community to attend for free, and we would play with the cards and have conversations and I will just ask for feedback at the end. I’ve just noticed that every time there will be somebody who is or I’m going to, if they get to choose the card, I’m going to go for vulnerable? Like, I’m not afraid of a wonderful question. And then they pick up the question they read it. And then the answer is not really going deep. I believe that everybody has had the experience in their lives where they encounter someone who is maybe an overshare or somebody who gets really vulnerable really quickly, and it almost makes you feel uncomfortable.
Rana Olk (Host): Yes, talk. Talk to me about that.
Jan Keck (Guest): So I’ve afterward learned after I created the three categories that there’s a theory behind it, where it’s called the Johari window where everybody has a window. And if both of us were to connect with each other, and your window might be all the way open, which means you’re totally comfortable sharing vulnerable details. And mine is only a crack open, meaning I usually don’t share anything personal for us to connect, our windows have to look the same. So in that situation, we both have to start with our windows just a crack open and slowly go on the journey together. So when you use the cards and you let’s say, do three rounds, and you do around of curious, a curious question, a brief question, and a wonderful question. The chance that you get there at the same time at the same speed is so much bigger.
Rana Olk (Host): Love it. What you have done, that is based on your experience or subjective experience at these cards, categorize them, have you ever encountered people who even the lowest level was too vulnerable for them?
Jan Keck (Guest): Yes, for sure. And I think anytime somebody plays with these cards, or when you have—if you want to be the one who has the courage to start those meaningful conversations, you’re in a way, the facilitator, you have to make sure that people feel safe. And they feel like it’s the right environment to be vulnerable. Because if people don’t feel safe, they will not they will not share it with they will not participate. And you can also not force anyone to participate in the conversation that they won’t be part of. So I oftentimes do two things, especially with the cards. I don’t pick a code and read the question and ask it to someone else. Everybody picks their own question. You read it by yourself silently. And then you can decide if you want to answer that question. If you want to exchange it, and what I say then is, before you exchange it, just take a moment and ask yourself, why it makes you uncomfortable. And maybe there’s something else that you would like to share that isn’t necessarily answering the question but when we feel that uncomfortable feeling is usually the biggest opportunity for growth. So if you’re interested in growing as a person, learning something about yourself, maybe think about sharing something and see where it goes.
Rana Olk (Host): When you go into organizations or workplaces that hire you, let’s say for team building exercise sizes. And these questions come out, how does this help people at work become better engaged, or connected? Because it does feel like Well, I don’t need my co-worker to know anything personal about me. But if I’m at a party, getting to know people, it’s a totally different story, right? If I’m in a social environment.
Jan Keck (Guest): I’m still in the process of figuring out what’s the ideal workplace that would be open to something like this. And the depth that you go really depends on the people and I guess also the values of the organization. So I would probably stay away from the vulnerable questions that I have in this deck in at a workplace unless they are asking to go there. And it’s a smaller group, like the other thing is, the size of the group has a big influence as well on how deep you can go, or how fast you can go to, let’s say, a more vulnerable conversation. Because the bigger the group, the harder it is to create that, that sense of trust between each other.
Rana Olk (Host): Yeah, and there’s a hierarchy thing that can be happening, right, where even a question like What do you wish was different about your job? Or what do you most enjoy about your job, could be seemingly innocuous, but have potential consequences and be a question that I would want to weigh the pluses and minuses of answering or maybe even answer inauthentically as what would people want to hear, right?
Jan Keck (Guest): Yes. And I think that’s the big the big obstacle that I think a lot of workplaces are working to get over, which is, do people actually feel like they can be themselves at work? Or do they pretend to be someone that else wants them to be, to me, that is the definition or the difference between fitting in where you have to change yourself to adjust to what other people’s expectations are, versus belonging, where you can show up as your full, complete self. And you’re actually celebrated to bring that to the table. I don’t think there’s a lot of workplaces that have really figured that out and are promoting that in their cultures.
Rana Olk (Host): I think you’re right. We want to create more connections and more engagement at work. But there are a lot of tricky aspects to it. There are many ways, I think, to increase connection to increase belonging. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Michael Lee Stallard’s work. But I know he talks about vision, voice, and values and comes together with things like that. I think asking better questions. asking the questions is important. And the reason I’m bringing these up is that I think it’s kind of a, it’s a going to require a collaborative effort on the part of all of us who work in these realms. And there’s a lot of talks now about empathy and there’s neuroscience coaching. So it is important now, I also wonder if what we’re really trying to do when we’re bringing in more connection and belonging into the workplace is compensate for connection belonging community that’s missing in our personal lives, would you have any opinions or thoughts on that?
Jan Keck (Guest): I think there is definitely like just definitely something happening in our society, especially in North America, where people feel less connected to each other. And like Toronto just did a study that showed that people between 20 and 25 actually are the least connected generation and being on social media. Being on technology doesn’t always help to help you to feel people more connected. And then workplaces that don’t necessarily have a very open culture don’t help with that either. So there are a lot of people that I feel in China, which there’s like millions of people living here, you are around people all the time, yet, you still feel isolated. So I think it’s not just the workplace, it’s also in our personal lives that this is a problem it is.
Rana Olk (Host): And when you bring up the disconnection among the 20 to 25-year-olds, I don’t know if you’re aware of the study that Cigna did a major health insurance company on loneliness. And they found that it actually is the 18 to 25 year old demographic only, yes, it’s a problem that we need to solve. When you go into workplaces, what is the way that you kind of get people on board? How do you get buy-in from everybody, since you’ve been hired to be there? And it’s not necessarily everyone’s decision, right?
Jan Keck (Guest): It really has to be like, I I’ve figured out that just from conversations with different managers and leaders that if the person who brings me it is not comfortable being vulnerable in front of their team, because they think they will be seen as weak, then I will have a really hard time getting anything done. So I’ve decided, you know, the leadership and the values need to already exist in the, in the company for, for me to be able to do anything that has a lasting impact. So I’ve worked with organizations that already have this as part of their culture like vulnerability, Authenticity, transparency is already something that the practice so getting them to get to know each other more is probably something that they would have done anyways. Just I might be able to create different exercise activities that help them get there faster.
Rana Olk (Host): Beautiful. Do you feel that these question cards have helped you create more of a sense of belonging or connection anywhere in your personal life?
Jan Keck (Guest): For sure, like I would say that I cannot host any more dinner parties without using the cards. It’s now one of those things that are always on the table. And usually I tell people, even before they come to the dinner table, look, this is going to be a dinner where there’s no technology. So leave your phone in your bag or turned off once you kind of go through the door and we’ll be having some meaningful conversations that might get uncomfortable. But in the end, you’ll really connect with everyone at the table.
Rana Olk (Host): You might want to ask for RSVP just in case. Do you usually have to say to suddenly have an ill aunt or something?
Jan Keck (Guest): Hasn’t happened yet. I hand-picked the people that I want to invite, and then I asked them to refer me somebody that I don’t know yet for the next dinner. So there’s usually one or two people I’ve never met that just come based on the recommendation from someone else. And I think that on itself really helps them showing up. Like, if a friend recommends you, “Hey, I had this amazing dinner and conversation at Jan’s place you should go”, then they’re very likely to also show up.
Rana Olk (Host): I love it. Now, you mentioned we’re kind of going to change gears here. But you mentioned that you are married and have a baby. I know your baby is brand new. But what I want to ask about is your wife how on board is she with these dinner parties and the questions and connection and getting to know people this way.
Jan Keck (Guest): This is the first time somebody asked me about this podcast, which is funny because usually when I host my bigger dinner parties, it’s when my wife is on vacation. And I have the place to myself so I can entertain and do my thing. And I don’t have to worry about kicking people out early. Because the problem really is once you start having conversations, and especially if there’s a little bit of wine on the table. They keep going for hours and hours. So I haven’t posted a lot of them with my wife present. But I’m actually planning to do a lot more this year with her because she’s also a chef and will be collaborating on creating some experiences for people where I’ll facilitate the conversations and she’ll be more responsible for the for the food experience.
Rana Olk (Host): I think that people are starving for these kinds of experiences in the conversations I’ve had with complete strangers and going to meetup groups. When you get to know somebody, they do admit that they want more meaningful conversations. They want deeper connections. And it seems like we are living in an age where our relationships are more superficial, not with any deliberate intent necessarily, but because we’re so much more mobile and we’re busy and we have so many other responsibilities we don’t participate in as many community activities anymore so this is something we’re starving for I am as many of my listeners may know brand new in Southern California, if there was somebody like you hosting these kinds of dinner parties with a chef I’d be all over it which of course the natural come back to this would be, “Well Rana Why don’t you start them?”
Jan Keck (Guest): Thank you for already saying what was on the tip of my tongue for the whole time you were talking,
Rana Olk (Host): Go ahead and ask me that. The truth is, I really will have to put some thought into that. I think that I would enjoy doing that. And I’m going to have the same excuses a lot of people probably my first response is going to be well time have the time to do that I invite I don’t know a single soul here yet. But I am going to an event this coming weekend Jan. I’m going to be hopefully 17 or 18 people who I never met before. So this is going to be something that I’m going to keep in mind. I really appreciate that idea.
Jan Keck (Guest): To me, that is so exciting, because I already have a lot of people here. So I feel like I have to invite people that I know. But having an almost a completely blank page to start creating the community around you is something that I’m very passionate about. And that is really what I want to help more people do in 2019. I don’t know if you know, I actually wrote a whole e-book on how to host a meaningful small gathering like a dinner party, which I can I can send you and if anybody’s interested who is listening. You can get that on my website, too.
Rana Olk (Host): I have been all over your website. And that must be hiding Yon we’re going to talk about your how people can find you in a little bit, actually, very soon here. Because I just realized talking to you, Time Is Flying. And I want to know before I asked you last question. My second to the last question for everybody is “What is one thing somebody out there listening can do starting as soon as they’re done listening to this if they wanted to, to create a more meaningful conversation or connection in their lives?”
Jan Keck (Guest): I believe that probably most people already have amazing people in their lives. But as you said, you don’t feel like you have the time to put in building those relationships and deepening those relationships. So I would challenge your listeners to maybe take a moment and list the people that you want to spend more time with, which are the people that you love seeing when you see them calling on your phone, you’re excited to pick up rather than you see them calling and you let it go to voicemail, the people that you feel really feel energized by once you have a conversation or you meet with them. And just see if you can deepen that connection by setting up an in-person meeting or meet for coffee or have a dinner food is such a great way to connect with people. Because it keeps our hands busy. We don’t overthink too much and it really is a way of nourishing our bodies and our souls by eating together and chatting about meaningful topics.
Rana Olk (Host): And wine doesn’t hurt.
Jan Keck (Guest): And wine doesn’t hurt either.
Rana Olk (Host): Jan, there are so many things that I would love to ask you. Still, I think we might have to have you on again because I’d really love to delve into the challenges with our personal relationships and the benefits of using these types of cards. And how we can increase meaning and connection in our personal lives with the people like you said, that no matter the most to us. Because I think other challenges and obstacles show up there. And sometimes it is easier to share with complete strangers, paradoxically, than it is with people who’ve known us, quote, unquote, known us our whole lives. So that might be another topic for another podcast. So since we are out of time, I would like to share with our audience how they can find you, which is also where they’re going to find the cards and the book you just mentioned, which I’m going to be all over in a bit, and how they might be able to reach out to you if they want some advice or tips or want to hire you to come and show them how to ask deeper questions.
Jan Keck (Guest): Yeah, thanks so much for the opportunity. This is this has been a great chat. So because my name is a little bit hard to spell or pronounce, depending if you’re reading or hearing it. My website is jankeck.com. But askthequestions.com will also get you to my website. And you’ll land on the page that talks about the cards. So that’s where you can find out everything. And there are different social links to connect with me there too.
Rana Olk (Host): Fantastic. Jan, yes, this has been a great conversation. I think that those of you out there listening, you are craving meaningful conversations and connections. I have looked at these cards, I’ve seen some of the questions. I know that if you do, you’re going to look at them and say, “Oh my gosh, I would love to know that about this person, or that person that I know.” And I mean, these are things that you can implement immediately. Jan was humble enough to not even mention, get my cards and use them immediately. Or even go to my site and see one is it immediately. But it is true, it makes a big difference to really have the opportunity to get to know the people that are closest to us in a way that we may be surprised that we didn’t know them before. So good luck looking at all of that stuff, and have fun. I know you’re going to have fun with it young. Thank you so much.
Jan Keck (Guest): Thank you. This was yes, I definitely believe that there’s so much more to talk about it. I’m excited to continue our conversations on the podcast and offline too, for dinner sometime soon in southern California.
Rana Olk (Host): Yes, all right. Hey, I live in wine country. So we’ll see ya. Thanks a lot. Have a great day everybody. Thanks for listening.